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Charles Montgomery Plantagenet Schicklgruber Burns, also known as Monty Burns, Montgomery Burns, C.M. Burns, is the overall main antagonist of The Simpsons and a minor antagonist in The Simpsons Movie. Burns is known for being the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Burns is Springfield's richest, oldest, and most. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators. Literally Just 21 Mr Burns Quotes On Pictures Of Donald Trump 'Well, for once, the rich white man is in control.' By Tom Phillips. BuzzFeed Staff, UK, by Robin Edds.
Full Name Charles Montgomery 'Monty' Burns
Occupation Rich and ancient owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant; most powerful man in Springfield
Accomplishments Has lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics
Past disguises Wavy Gravy; Jimbo Jones
Favorite lunch A pillow of shredded wheat; steamed toast; a dodo egg
Secret Shame Physically weaker than an infant
Favorite non-monetary wager Coca-Cola (one can of)
Miscellaneous Denture collection includes fangs; once tried to court Marge; once tried to marry Marge's mother |
| Hello. I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semi-skilled workers there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing, Merry Christmas! |
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| | You're not as stupid as you look or sound... or our best testing indicates. |
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| | Some damn fool went around telling everyone I love that slimy goop. Well, toss it in the pile over there... and make yourselves at home. |
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| | Musicians cease that infernal tootling! |
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| | Now it's time to say goodbye. Please get off my property until next year. I suggest you don't doddle. The hounds will be released in 10 minutes. |
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| | Excellent. Perhaps this energy conservation fad is as dead as the dodo. |
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| | A plant employee carrying on like an oversexed orangutan in heat! This is a family nuclear power plant, Simpson. Our research indicates that over 50% of our power is used by women. I will not have you offending my customers with your body shenanigans. |
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| | Simpson, I am by most measures a successful man. I have wealth and power beyond the dreams of you and your clock punching ilk. And yet, I've led a solitary life. The fair sex remains a mystery to me. You seem to have a way with women, a certain... how should I put it... animal mag-net-tis-ma. Help me Simpson. Tell me your secret. |
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| | Why you young ragamuffin. I was never one to back away from a snowball fight. Smithers, you may fire at will. |
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| | Morons, pathetic morons in my employ steeling my precious money. This is hopeless, none of these credants deserves a promotion. |
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| | Those are my ideas. You people don't think. You regurgitate. |
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| | Shut up, Smithers. Can't you see what he's saying? A happy worker is a busy worker. Three cents worth of tartar sauce could save us thousands of hours in labor. I like the cut of your jib Simpson. Let the fools have their tartar sauce. |
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| | Oh, hey-ho men. You know, I was watching the DuMont last night and I happen to catch a fascinating documentary on Rommel, the desert fox. Now there's a man who could get things done. |
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| | What?! Blast his hide to Hades! And I was going to buy that ivory back scratcher. |
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| | You may find this hard to believe but in my salad days my crowning glory was a bright chuck of strawberry blonde curls. Oh, I was big man on campus until my senior year when I became as bald as a pluck chicken. You see Simpson. I too know the sting of male pattern baldness. |
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| | Hi-ho faceless employees. In a few moments the government inspection team will be touring our plant. So look busy and keep your mouths shut! That is all. |
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| | | I suppose that's normal background radiation. The kind you'd find at any well maintained nuclear facility... or for that matter, playgrounds, hospitals. |
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| | Oh look. Some careless person has left thousands and thousands of dollar just lying here on my coffee table. Smithers, why don't we leave the room and hopefully when we return the pile of money will be gone... Look Smithers, the money and a very stupid man are still here. Is there some sort of confusion about this? Take it. Take it you poor schmo. |
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| | Awww, visual aids help so much. Thank you. |
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| | Oh don't worry, by the time this paid political announcement is done every Johnny Lunchpail in this whole stupid state will be eating out of my hand. Oh! Hello friends! I'm Montgomery Burns, your next governor and I'm hear to talk to you about my little friend here, Blinky. Many of you consider him to be a hideous genetic mutation. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. But don't take my word for it. Let's ask an actor portraying Charles Darwin what he thinks... ...So you're saying this fish might have an advantage over other fish. It may in fact be a kind of super fish. ...You see friends if our anti-nuclear naysayers and choose-up-siders were to come upon an elephant frolicking in the waters next to our nuclear power plant, they'd probably blame his ridiculous nose on the nuclear boogeyman. The truth is this fish is a miracle of nature with a taste that can't be beat. Mmmm, mmmm. So to summarize, say what you want about me. I can take the slings and arrows but stop slandering poor defenseless Blinky. Goodnight and God bless. |
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| | Oh I get your angle. Every Joe Meatball and Sally Housegoat in this God forsaken state would see me hunkering down for chow with Eddie Punchclock. The media will have a field day. |
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| | There's no single answer. Some voters respond to my integrity. Others are more impressed with my incorruptibility. Still others buy my determination to lower taxes and the bureaucrats in the state capital can put that in their pipes and smoke it! |
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| | Ironic isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you. |
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| | Simpson, I shall make it the focus of my remaining years that your dreams will go unfulfilled. |
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| | You know Smithers when I was a young buck, my patented fade away pitch was compared by many to The Trouble Ball of the late great Satchel Paige. Spit on this for me Smithers. |
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| | The hitter's off his rocker kissing Betty Crocker... I used to rile the late great Connie Mack with that one at old Shibe Park. |
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| | | Oh for crying out loud, just give him a nickel and let's get going. |
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| | My attorney's have advised me to pay you for running over your child so I'm cutting you a check. One hundred dollars. Of course you'll have to sign a waiver not to sue and so forth. Merely a formality... Oh so extortion is the name of your little game. Then you get nothing. I have the finest lawyers in Springfield... Tangle with me and I'll crush you like a paper cup. |
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Sundays 8:00 PMonFOX
Mr Burns Casino Quotes Images
Ned: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting.
Smithers: What's this about a fisting?
- Permalink: Come on Homer, I'm insisting on a fisting. What's this about a...
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Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
- Permalink: Can I have a scotch and water? My scotch is a scotch and water...
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Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
- Permalink: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq! What? Persia and Mesopo...
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(Smithers is on fire, while Mr. Burns is washing his car.)
Smithers: Sir, help me!
Mr. Burns: Why should I? You're not helping me.
Smithers: But sir, I'm flaming!
(Mr. Burns looks at the camera with an odd expression)
- Permalink: Sir, help me! Why should I? You're not helping me. But sir, ...
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(During the opening credits, Mr. Burns acts as the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt.)
Mr. Burns: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say master of scary-i-monies? (Laughs)
(Smithers interrupts Mr. Burn's opening speech.)
Smithers: (Laughs) Priceless sir, you made the word ceremonies frightening.
Mr. Burns: I know what I did. Urghh.
- Permalink: Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the crypt-keeper, or should I say ...
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(Mr. Burns and Smithers visit the morgue.)
Mr. Burns: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, (Points) I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, (Points) that motorcycle man's mustache.
Smithers: Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.
- Permalink: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, I'll tak...
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(Smithers helps Mr. Burns shop for a cell phone.)
Smithers: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir?
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop.
(Mr. Burns stomach suddenly vibrates.)
Smithers: I'll go get the number de-listed.
- Permalink: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir? Ooh, I ...
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Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
- Permalink: I'm so happy I could hug you. And have me smell like cheap dru...
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He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.
- Permalink: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the mo...
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Smithers: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? (Homer eats an orange) Simpson?!
Homer: Huh? Yeah, I was listening. Very funny.
Moe: Oh, you were not! You were just eating a damn orange.
Homer: Well, yes, yes, to the untrained eye, I'm eating an orange, not to the eye that has brains; I'm making a point about marriage! For you see, marriage is a lot like an orange. First, you have the skin...then the sweet, sweet innards... (devours it)
- Permalink: Mr. Simpson, are you listening? Simpson?! Huh? Yeah, I was li...
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Mr. Burns: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know.
Smithers: I'll go find a spherical one, sir.
- Permalink: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know. I'll go f...
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Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so young?
- Permalink: Oh my God, Mr. Burns is dead! Why do the good always die so youn...
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Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 76 in total
The Simpsons Quotes
Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!
- Permalink: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles tri...
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Mr Burns Casino Quotes Funny
Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you cannot know. How I will get there, I haven't decided yet. But one thing I can tell you, any time I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna. And so let us part with a love that will echo through the ages. ---Woodrow
'Woodrow'- Permalink: Dearest Edna, I must leave you. Why, I cannot say. Where, you ca...
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